bcet cotsy t gan

[gan battles couch]
{b}set kawt’see t{eh} {c}hwan

the above does not follow any articulatory phonetic standards or semiotic alignments. basically the {b} is silent or like the “m” in mnemonic. the “t” with the {eh} is pretty much like a grade-schooler sounding out the letter “t.” and {c}hwan is a sort of back of the throat sound or swallowed sound like the “g” in argentina or like the “ch” in chava.

the knot’ch (knotish) language is a funny one. it started out as “gibberish” (as my aunt put it in my preteens – they call it “tweens” now) but has developed over the years into what i simply call “knot” or “that twist of language parts.” i love english/american, but there are so many cool parts and tongue out there. i tend to work them all in along with my own ingredients. and poof!

but the “battle” . . .

after a few errands early on i set back into the front; on the battle lines; whooping artifact and coin for that longed-freedom. it’s going well. lost some soldiers but more arrive every day for the cause.
it is a sight to see- cumulonimbus on whorled fire. it is awe striking.

the thing about the imagination: if you set it to task, it is unrelenting. because the stuff behind imagination is infinite. and for me, perhaps especially so since i have an over saturated state of it. so there’s no shortage of mental resources.

the cotsy, however, are infinite. why? because they come from all people, and once established they multiply even when devoid of a source of imagination. it is said they feed on hope and ambition. but not a malicious feeding, it’s just their nature.
so it can be a real bugger to face them head-on.

a note to my bonds, my friends, my knows-ofs

{this was originally my sentiment to my friend frank. but when i wrote it, i could feel that i was writing not just to him but to all people. and so, i share it here.}


we are all the same, and different – that is our humble. i know it, you know it. we all feel it, but we have our separate bodies. we can get caught in them so easily. i know it well. my whole life has been that struggle. i don’t socialize so well, but i do talk to many people all the time. just... not-- deeply. not full force.

i am tired of that. perhaps broken, or whatever it is-- it hurts too much not to express myself how i feel to do it. i still feel the “lock down” by my old ways, my cultured and bent self is pulling at me. “don’t do it.” and i’m saying “damn you you crap-garbage, look what you’ve done to us.” i proceed to scuff with myself – that crap me. i’ve been winning. it’s tough though.

you are human frank. i look up to that. i am human, i realize that. but i am a diminished one. but i know we are the same. we all have our troubles, our emotions, we also have those intellectual knows – what has to be done, what “should” be done. i don’t want to make anyone feel idolized or like i’m making them bigger than they are- “more human than human.” i am dramatic though. expression does that to you. especially when you let it fly freely or without so much reserve (at least as much as i’ve had in my past.). i’m healing and growing, and thriving. it will hurt and there will be a mess. but i will shine once again, and people will know it, because they will feel it.

inspiration is inspiration, there needs to be no condition or exposition to validate it. when you feel the energy of someone’s life, that is proof enough.

i feel yours, and so – i say it to you directly. no more of the couch. the pillows are flung!