the conundrum of exception

being a minority, do you want the natural habits of the mean-mass of humans to have a target by which to address? being a minority, you have a rarefied perspective but to connect and disseminate, the resultant dynamic, an aperture or dialogue of sorts must be established to some degree.

is it i who am explaining-away, excusing myself from responsibility, or not facing reality, truth, myself? or is it i who has awareness of self, context, and reality? who is right. who is wrong. who is right? who is wrong?
who decides what is real- and what is not? it would seem that the individual (or group) with the ability to influence the largest group is ultimately (within human culture) that which decides the state of our(human) reality.
convention is tool. all is tool. boundaries and static forms change, in time, in context. it is the abuse or misuse of convention, of tools, that instigates my madness and possibly, my frustrations. if anything, it is this imbalanced practice or tendency of the human-mean, resulting in the friction between that culture-entire and my own, that affects me most. the clash of culture. the misunderstandings in translation; incorrect interpretations. the friction of tangents.

somehow i have to manage a way to figure out an interface that can enable connection between my dynamic and any other. this is not created by design but by compulsion, by necessity from my dynamic. otherwise i feel i will not fulfill the connection i feel to make. i do not feel the general attraction most have to the convention(s) of recognition, fame, credit, acknowledgment, tribute, acceptance, and other similar forms. in of themselves they are good “tools” or forms that can represent and convey a great deal, but considering the state of human ability, these forms are grossly abused for the sake of themselves, for self-definement, validity, confirmation, and confidence. and i think it is this that i am reacting to and why it is so difficult for me to accept or "buy in to" conventional forms of shared expression.

anonymity is my attraction. the search for self and the resultant "original" forms of expression that result from that are also my attraction. this does not mean that anything is absolutely original, i believe in the continuum of all, the connection of all. so there are no absolute original forms.
tempering the connection with all else (human or otherwise) and the self is my attraction. i can sense the presence of this.