Thursday, December 31, 2009

conundrum of mental morphological dynamics

validation (and related ideas) impedes understanding, acceptance, embracement, cohesion, connection, social evolution(?), empirical/logical processes.

apriorically and posteriorically this is a repeatable result relative to the human dynamic inclusive of cultural momentum.

why then, do persons involved in higher academia need recognition? the main reason would be one acquired through a construct established through social-based pressures and associative values: resource.  that one’s values and importances (their research or various curiosities and subjects) need resources for their respective pursuits to subsist means that a certain course of action or process must be followed.  this is dependent on the collective momentum or social standard in effect.

i discover difficulties, within me, in adapting to and adopting the required elements for the actualization of those pursuits, and respective results that fall within prominent influence of social conventions/processes.  this is not an absolute nor pathological situation; but even in knowing what needs to exist for a desired outcome, i still have to commit a high level of discipline to see a pursuit through to relative conclusion.  the general outcome is that even a high level of discipline or commitment does not affect enough change within me to realize a pursuit that overlaps or is overlapped by socially-pressured processes.

i do not "play the game" well.   i came to play chess and most everyone seems to be playing life.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

a précis to my confidant: "harmonica"

about the idea of a “team mate,” one’s “other,” or partner in crime(life) ...

i have often thought about this. this “other” (person). i can remember thinking about this from grade school and usually visualizing it as “back to back” (our backs literally, but ultimately metaphorically, together). not just as a friend but as a mate (though i didn’t quite understand the concept of “mate” at the time, but i know i had a feeling for it.)

we each have the elements that we each respond to. these elements are what bring or push us together, or not, or even repulse or pull us apart (none of these implying a negative or positive meaning). because of this perspective, i find myself listening to the nature of things, the flow of existence. i do not take a passive role but likewise i do not take an aggressive role; exclusively. i embrace, employ, and respect all aspects or elements of being. this is not something i do with design but by intuitive balance. meaning, i listen to my being and to all others and arrive with a rich intuition that supports and guides me.

my friends, those i am in close proximity to (regardless of physical notion), can have variable-difference but still have a cheek-tart synchronym that polishes my notes. i do wonder how close someone/anyone can get to me, or i to them. can that childhood-established ideal be realized in some relatively realistic form? because i can see the abstract world so abundantly i cannot deny the optimism or idea that this “other” does exist. the ideas: that we will ever meet, or that we ever exist in overlapping time or age/experience-parallels is inconsequential to my sanguinity.
i respond to the living world like a dance partner. sometimes i lead, sometimes i follow, sometimes something else. i see no absolutes; and so, possibility is endless even in those elements that seem not to change. my friends and all those people i encounter and influence or am influenced by are seen with the same outlook. i do not ultimately decide on who i will connect with or not. i act upon my instinct and intellectual encouragements to further my distinct connections. but how well we will rhyme or connect is dependent on factors transcendent of tenuous human control or will.

i enjoy and appreciate the current. wherever it takes me is a continual-now that i participate in. friends amplify this already-overwhelming premise. that i am without any friend in physical proximity is ok; my pixel will not dither away to digital naughts without physical ties; and, if anything, yearning for this closeness, in the abstract, saturates my sensibilities with appreciative marvel.

“my friends do not elude me. we are connected by atomic circumstance.”
this idea serves my imagination, my intellect but not my instinct, not my sentiment. indeed, melancholy is folded into my dough; however, the scent of bakings are strong and flow as easily through dense forest as closed door. it is said that even those without nose can feel it in their hearts and are guided by its divinitive aroma.

whether seen or not. ‘ known or not. my bright and heart are imbued deep and true by who you are...

my friend.

Friday, December 18, 2009

my wintery vascillate flake

i have strong intuitive feelings about most(if not all) things i have considerations for. where i fall down is in the lacking of articulate established tools of reference and communication. i become, or the words and expression i share (at least in verbal/written form), less accessible or understandable because i am searching for words (sometimes having to invent new words) to describe what i feel or sense or see. if i had a better understanding of the established disciplines of interest (and the accompanying argot) then i’d not only have additional words or phrases to capture complex ideas into relatively concise forms, i would also have alternate points of view (due to the respective disciplines concerns or focus) to help triangulate what i posit.

as for consciousness and what is real or what can be known, i am open. receptive. i do have relative axioms based in empirical gatherings but i also have an equally apriorical assignment in my being. i am part action and part inaction, that is to say that i “come half way” to meet the other half of what ultimately exists to support my dynamic. of this dynamic support: my physical being and my mind are, as i see it, part of something that may, and seems to be, beyond complete or thorough understanding or knowledge. this continuum seems to have an inherent balance to it. it is a relative balance the average of which can never be known until a specific range in retrospect is examined. but i project forward an idea that there is a balance in the “universe”(of all things existent or not), my projection comes from my experience and observation and the relative dynamic i have come and continue to be by way of the variable influences of context.
this “balance” is something that, i feel, permeates all. so when it comes to thought and action i sense the balance present. i am not wedded nor do i have allegiance to my own discoveries, knowledge, actions, etc. i do apply(habitually or purposefully) responsibility where cultural memes or tact are inherently or intellectually desirable. but otherwise i see my insights or state of awareness to be in a nonstatic state. what would be considered one’s “current state”(how do you feel, what do you believe, what are you) is only a sampling of a particular segment, moment, or retrospective-average of the self. more or less, the way i see things, is that everything is in transitional flux. that something seems to not be changing or moving(whatever the considered duration may be) has not dissuaded my feelings on this perspective thus far.

therefore, my ideas are in constant reception and reflection of the “possibility mean.” thus, to all intents and purposes, i am a vacillate flake. and for those that find rhythmic sway with my own crystalline flourish there is no discord. for those not, trust flounders.

i do have difficultly taking stands(defending) on ideas since i believe in the immense latent knowledge that exists. i will argue points but mainly for the support of the integrity of the perspective i present to the relative dialogue.
i am aware of myself, but am i myself? reality seems pretty straight forward does it not? we have two hands for example. we know things. but what is knowledge? what is true? what is fact?.. and reality. and by extension, to all areas of thought, we can similarly break down the constructs of human belief. do i move in space or does space move about me? countless parallels in motion together.

i hope and venture that the above gives you good content to gain perspective of my thoughts on consciousness and related ideas.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


equation and algorithm do tickle my senses.  something about the "way of things" (or, "culture") fascinates me in continuum.  optics and medicine, astrophysics and molecular biology are all the same to me in the way of fascinate-interest.  i am not great at retention of hard fact or data but the intuitive nutrition i retain is intense; overwhelming.

whether geographic tectonic or geometric tetrahedral, anamorphosic or pythagorean - same fascinate {pronounced - fah sin it}.  i am equally enthralled by hypotenuse theorems and the quaint peripheral of anaglyphs.  i enjoy the rhythmic "why" of the aesthetic variable.  root or radical, it's empirical.  bereft of elucidation or enlightened by epipheral amalgamation it saturates my essence tickling a shine out of my brass rudiments.  a proffer of seasoned kitschens and garish subtleties in the lateral margarines.

give me a cake doppled with bentley flakes and i'll show you a gäng fervently awaiting reflections of the aftermath.  a fury of seamless consumption.

Monday, December 7, 2009

the natured root




that is that, what i am (my “dynamic” that i continually, recently refer to) is not any one thing. i am a combination of things, as i believe all humans and all things in existence are. i cannot vouch for nonexistence or quasistence or even the many things that i have projected conclusions through observations. obviously the further from my own witness or direct experience an event or idea is (or is derived from) the less detail or intuition i will have about the event/idea or the less relative experiences i will have to triangulate an understanding from or for.

that i say or present ideas or perform actions that are skeptical/critical/pessimistic/cynical in of themselves, i- myself am not distinctly any one of those things. i am equally optimistic, hopeful, forgiving, and understanding. humans are not any one thing. we use categories and ideas or labels to identify reference points between our own “universes,” realities, perspectives, perceptions, point of views (the way we each see life and reality). altruism and selfishness can exist in the same person. “can” is a key word. so are words like “perhaps” or relative, possible, dependent (on), may (be), necessarily, etc. that is to say that these words represent the idea of a changing dynamic. they do not represent or imply static absolutes. “static cling” and “static electricity” are popular phrases that i repurpose as metaphors representing the need for the majority of human-kind to “cling” to unchanging(static) ideas or processes. some people, i should say many, will kill for this cling or comfort. that is the extreme and realized potential of human-kind. it hasn’t changed in recorded history and it is probable that it will not change immediately. it will most likely follow evolutions process, and likewise, the “time-based progress” we utilize as our rule within the existence continuum.

what do we do with knowledge, awareness, information, and similar sorts? do we ignore and suppress what we witness or know? or do we accept, embrace, or acknowledge? we can be purposefully naïve or blatantly-loudly aware, but categories or ideas that represent static or absolutes do not seem to do well for the inherent balance of our nature, or of the “way” of existence-entire.

my nature seeks balance. i am not passive in mind. i am definitely not passive in body – how can i or anyone be unless there is trauma present? there is a compulsion of instinct, an exposure of the daily content and influence; environment and variable element. inbetween is the intellect. and within this dynamic of self i sense those things that feel right. as right as anything can feel to an individual. our wisdom, our intuition, our “gut” feeling is fed by the content of our experiences. experience can be seen to contain the same kind of layered model as does food. fat, protein, nutrients, calories, etc. and what do we feed our intellectual dynamic? is it fatty experience? is it overly lean? is it mainly centered on desserts or our favourites?
the balance my dynamic seeks includes the “diet of my experience.” my mind is receptive to as many points of view as can be had. i am open to perspectives because it is in these various sights that give enhanced potential for understanding. i like to call this “triangulation.”
the continuum of my personal dynamic is made of this stuff.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

the "p" in please

reason and logic are forsaken and/or obliterated in the presence of absolutes and emotion.
the dynamic of principle and practical.

{title utilizes word-play.  all definitions for "principle" and "practical" are implied}

part impartial

{from a personal file note dated 10 the 6 2009}

"i don't have emotions on my pants."  meaning i keep many things to myself.  what i am to any one person is a fragment.  all those that know me are the puzzle pieces of who i am, with me being (the key to assembly) the final piece to complete it.

correspondance: m

some words/phrases i would like to share with you at the moment: palindrome, critical mass, and translocation

also i think it can be said that what i say or my ideas can be: pessimistic, cynical, skeptical, critical, sardonical but that i am not solely/specifically/mostly any one of those things. i am optimistic but i suppose i am disappointed easier because of my perception/awareness of the fantastic in constant refrain*.

*play on word – both meanings included here. the definition of “melody/verse” applies to myself – “restrain” applies to how i feel the fantastic of existence is perceived or valued by most.