system

i look out window. i am just looking. no intent. no dream or wish. no plan. just look. but at times other layers of thought sneak a peek all the while. and i wonder what they are looking at, or perhaps for. i am human, so, like those things that match my beings rhythms. am i to shun anything that is ever a comfort? do i always look for the test or the challenge? balance is a good. not the middle road, or the in between; balance is not necessarily an “average.” balance is a back and forth, balance can be a little bit of whatevers, balance is not easy to know, but it is easy to feel.
looking out i see what i am, looking in i see who i am.
when i turn away from the window i face a chasm. it is spew and warm mayonnaise broken on a brooklyn sidewalk. this place wears. even nickels are rubbed to nonsense. but get this, this place of scarp and treachery, this erosion of change and sense, ripping the seams from my pocket, this place is comfort(to most). to most it is destination and salvation. to most it fills the pocket with guarantee. even to myself it guarantees. even to me it is a comfort. i have “responsibilities,” yes, all the social assigns such as bills by mandatory utilities required by contracts, taxes and duties, even child support (which is mandated by a male-hate-oriented structure whether or not any one person actually hates men/fathers is questionable – but it is in the reputation of males in america and of the real “deadbeat dads” that perpetuates the existing system). and it is in the satisfying of these “responsibilities” that is the comfort. is this system “busy work” for the social order? is it conditioning for societal benefit? it is simply a result created by all the influences and contributions in existence; some necessary, some fair, others irrational and greedy.