coin toss

change. token. credit.
are gray scales to those who see it that way.
not black or white, but fuzzy possibility.
endless potential
appreciation for the nuances and bonus that existence is.
but what of the alternative(s)? the other points of views?
the other layers of perception?
to varying degrees and way, there must be less choice.
less confusion, less wonder, less potential, less possibility.
most may not see that they see things this way, but ultimately the comforts of blind conformity, or conformity in general include the above as inherent content.
existence is variable, is changing, is continuum.
we create tokens to identify with, snapshots of existence. but do we create? or merely interpret? does the camera or the photographer create everything captured within the latent photographic image? tokens are reflection. bits of temporary perception or perspective. tokens are inbetweens of the continuum and the abstract state of mind. they are tools with no real distinct use save what we assign.
and credit...
interpretations applied to conforming conventions. the change of existence is traded for the token of the mind, for most this token is then applied as credit. a credit is demanded for play for these people. the game requires credit or credits. and credits are applied. they are demanded. and these people lose themselves in the absence of credit. who are they then when there is nothing to say who they are? to say that they exist? to prove that they are worth anything, to prove their success, to prove their existence?
so afraid. fear assigned? fear taught? fear impressed? is it even fear?

knowing we know.
...i believe is bonus.
i like to say that life is like sitting down to a sundae. like a banana split with a cherry on top.
no, the cherry is not bonus. neither is the sauce or sprinkles; the icecream or banana. not even the spoon or dish.
not the table or the floor either. what is bonus is that you are. “are.” that you are here, thinking. thinking about all the shapes, and movements, and actions, and states. elements of existence swirl around you from breath’s moment to next. sleeping, waking... elements- swirl.
at times i will also say “it is a fantastic time.” but what does that mean? what is fantastic? an upcoming event? did i just win the lottery or something? what’s fantastic?
the question is vague or general because it is what it needs to be to express what i mean: “existence.”
i enjoy myself. i am and happy where i am at and what i do from day to day as it is done. i am not relegating or excusing my responsibilities, i recognize and appreciate what i am; who i am. of all that contributes to who i am, my influences, my context(s), my friends, my actions, my thoughts, at the “end of the day” the result is who i am. and it’s fantastic.
some have said that this might be “telling myself what i need to hear” or justifying myself or my shortcomings.

?!

but from their perspective, their perception, that is how they see it. that is their understanding.

and i have mine, as we each do.